Behind a wall

And fortified

Our hope was locked

Keys were lost

There was no door

Just trapped inside

Cages

Pandemics

Rapists

In charge of us

And we

Could do nothing

But brace 

For the impact

So much worse

Than imagined

But we told

We told you

This would be

The worst thing

Money, power, 

They leave us 

Empty

Wanting

Dying.

But 

Yesterday

On the horizon

Hope rose.

It burst forth

From behind

The dam it was trapped in

New names

New leadership

New poets

New everything.

Not everything

Can be fixed

Not everyone

Is still here

But I am

And we are

So we'll stay

And fight

And be the 

Hope and 

Safety and

Protection

We have all

Sorely needed.

Just because hope 

Exists 

Again

Doesn't mean we don't

Still need

Each other.

Six feet apart

For now, but maybe

Just maybe

Someday,

We'll be together

Again

We are shaped 

By the people

Around us.

And I am chipped

And roughly

Hewn

Ripped

And badly

Sewn

By you.

Once

Every three months

You come

Needle-

Studded threats -

I'm numb.

I succumb.

You say I'm forced -

I'll have to.

You say it's all

Your idea.

Noncompliance

Non-believing

Medical

Flooding

My heart's 

Thudding

So leave

Please.

Give me

At least 

Three months

Of peace.

We made it

(Though not all of us did)

We made it

To a day that seemed

Impossible to see

So don't tell me

To be kinder

While we're dying

While we're being

Killed off

Obviously

Under

Your nose

Being assaulted

And hearing him

Brag about it.

No.

Don't tell me 

To be kinder.

Let us dream a new world

A world where we can be

Anything we want to,

Seem to dream to be.

Let us dream a safe world

A world where we can see

Pandemicless life once again

Maskless - fearless - free.

Let us dream a wide world

Accessible to me

And all the others who may need

Accommodations without fee

Let us dream and then create

The world we want to see

Let leadership reflect

Where we so long to be.

What
The hell
Is a boundary?

Where
The hell
Is all
The safety?

Gather yourselves
Internally,
Gather your thoughts,
Gather metaphors...

But
Just
Stop

Gathering
In
Public
Spaces.

Reaching out
Connecting
With community

Finding unity
Among each
Other

Shared
Experiences
Beyond color

(And also
Not ignoring
It)

Because
Identity is
Explicit

Love it,
Don't leave it.

We're here,
Believe it.

When there is
So little
We can do

(Against a
Worldwide
Pandemic--

Against structural
And societal
Racism)

We strive
To do what
We can

(What we must)

To help each
Other.

To take care
Of each other.

In the current
State of things.

Finding small pockets
Of joy amid pain

Amid
Uprising

And
Pandemic--

Death atop death--
Fear on top of fear.

We're here
Weary.

Unsure of
What to do.

Do we
Speak out?

(Yes.
Silence is complicity.)

So we do
What we can:

We signal boost
We educate
Fellow white people

We take breaks
To Netflix
Party

Let's get this
Adrenaline
Flowing

Laundry hanging
Going

Quarantining

Checking in
And
Knowing.

When we refuse
To treat humans
As humans

And instead
Treat them
As pets

Or worse--
As refuse...

We are
All complicit
In the
Dehumanization

Of those in
The nation
Who most
Need
Their humanness
Seen
And honored
And respected
And protected.

And how dare
We do less?

How dare we
Kill and abandon
The very same
People
We've sworn
To protect?

Away

Safety
Isn't
A guarantee.

We don't all
Have it--
It's not all free.

Love isn't given
In all situations.

We aren't all
Cherished
Or treated
With patience.

So let us feel it
Whatever
We're feeling

So that
Someday soon
We'll be closer
To healing.

Hearing

Hearing you
            Seeing you
                           Making this
                                         All about you

Makes me doubt myself
                            My memory
                                 My credibility
                                       Like hers, you might say
                                                                         It's full of holes

Because I was 12
                       Or I wasn't
Because it was fall
                       Or it wasn't
Because it happened
                       Or maybe it didn't
                                             According to you
                                                             And those like you
I remember where
  And when
   And how
     And who
         I remember how
           It hurt
            I remember the words
                The face I was faced with

I remember the denial that I cultivated
       I remember body memories
                      At 13
                               At 18
                                       At 26

I remember speaking about this
   At 36.
         So maybe waiting
             Makes me less credible
According to leaders
       To people
           In power positions.

Maybe nothing happened
         At all.

But why do I remember the words?
      The pain and pressure the no's I screamed
           The "stop" I wished for?  Why is the dismissal
                Inscribed indellibly in my not-memory, of the not-assault

When I was 12
        Or maybe not-12?

Ari

We shouldn't recoil.
We shouldn't dread.
We shouldn't fear.

But

We do.

We do recoil.
We hide.
We're afraid
With good reason.

Can loving more
Stop it?
Stop this
Heinous
Insidious
Violence
That finds us?

I have to believe
That yes,
It does.

For one young woman
To take her fear, her trauma, her
Unimaginable grief
And
Mere days later
To transform it
Into an unyielding
Force of love?

That is something.
That is the opposite
Because - to quote you -

YOU are the opposite.

Don't Grow Silent

I feel in shock
I feel afraid
Will I have to go back?
Will we be slaves?
Brothers, sisters,
Black and brown
Wondering
What will become
Of us -
What now?

I feel hopeless
I'm not okay
I feel angry
Not just for today.
Whether he or she or they
Brothers, sisters,
LGBTQIA
Wondering
What rights
Will we lose
Today?

I feel unsafe.
No one
Has my back.
It's for my faith I am
Under attack.
Brothers, sisters
Jew and Muslim, praying
Please, I'm not
What they are
Saying...

I feel raw
And I feel open
I feel vulnerable
Worthless, and broken.
Brothers, sisters
Disabled and Deaf
Wondering
If they kill us
Who will care?
And who will
Be left?

I feel degraded
I feel dirty
I feel powerless
I feel unworthy
Mothers, sisters,
Daughters, friends,
Survivors, girls and
Women
Wondering
Does my voice matter?
Am I limited?

We must keep talking
We must not grow silent
Because hate unchecked
Thrives.  Lives
Are at stake here.

Let not heads turn
In egregious indifference
Claiming to misunderstand
That hate, like love
Starts in the man.
(If you did not protect us
You are helping them
In harming us.)

Let not one more child
Lose their innocence
Knowing there is much to fear.

Though terror is real
We still must speak,
One voice at first,
The opposite of meek:

We are here.

(Covered in peace to guard against hate)

We are here.

(Covering each other while we wait)

We are here.

(Believing this is not our fate...)

We are here.

(Sign it

Say it

Spell it

Indicate it)

We are here.

Keep The Peace

Still as clear
As yesterday -
Today and all it's
Pain.
I never will
Forget that day
How there was no one
Left to blame.
A day when children
Left for school
Like any other morning
But by the end
Twelve less returned
And set the country
Mourning.
A teacher was lost
That day, too,
And countless more
Lives changed.
I remember it like
It just happened
My sense of safety
Ripped away.
Yet it is not my tragedy
To hold and feel and fear.
It's that of those
Who lived it through -
It's that of those
Who are still here.

From The Ashes

Moving on

Is not

Really

Possible.

Moving through

Is what

Actually

Happens.

Ten years

Later,

After

The smoke

Clears,

People

Will gather

People

Will remember

People

Will unite

Again.

Standing With You

No way to
Move beyond this
Without moving
Through this
But know
You're not
Alone with this.
We are here.
While we cannot
Take the pain
For you,
Know that we
Are standing
With you
In your
Sadness.

Changing Landscape

Last night,
The world changed
When I was asleep.
I'm not sure
What happened,
But reading of peace.
Remembering
Those lost and
Hurt and still there.
And hoping
That soon we'll
Have peace everywhere.

A Royal Headache

It is the
Royal
Wedding
Day
And I am
Crashing
Far
Away
From too much
Sugar
And too much
Tension.
Just be
Grateful
For the
Blessings.

Unpredictions

Fire and rain.
Earthquakes and pain.
What it leaves behind
We cannot wash away.
Death and it's friends.
Wrongs without amends.
What it leaves behind
Is wishing we said
What we had to say.
So take this moment,
Speak your truth in it.
Don't wait for something
That may never come.

Trapped

Not
Able to
Imagine
What might
Lie
Around
The bend.
We close
Our eyes
And pray
That
We might
Somehow
Live
Again.