Christmas Adam Update

Hi.  Hello.

What's happened since

I last wrote?

Let us commence...

We got Hulu.

Streaming's great,

Ali and Kiera

Help my current state.

Thanksgiving's gross,

I'm glad it's over - 

O-Mall-eys?

No contact? Whatever.

Writing last month,

Writing still,

Summer camp in 

Winter fits the bill.

Presents come

And then we wrap them

Acceptable Christmas

How to attack them?

Blogging leaves me

Tender hearted

Armchair diagnosis?

Don't get me started...

You don't know me

But I see you.

Sharing my pain,

Blaming me, too.

But there are friendships, and

Grey came home.

These things and more tell us

We're not alone.

When I love you

I wince...

When you see me

I brace

For hits

For hints

Of what 

Flits

Below your 

Surface

Edges...

Are there 

Ledges

Hidden 

Beneath

Water?

Are there

Currents

Swirling

Ready

To take me

Under?

Or a wall

I'm preparing

To meet

Head-on

Without

Proper

Protection?

Am I forgotten
Or am I alone
Do I matter at all
Not family, no home.

What does it matter
And what do we do
A friendship's in pieces
Everything to lose

Forget it -- past tense
Because everything's lost
What we had is gone
All evidence tossed.

Can we get it back
This thing we once shared
Or have we now come
As close as we dared?

Honesty
Lets me see

I am not
Weird
Or alone
Or bad

In this
Landscape
Of
Landmines
My mind holds

I see your smile
It light's me --
A glimmer.

It makes
My pandemic
Feelings dimmer.

Baymax
To the
Rescue.

Open minds
And open hearts
And open souls
Not kept apart.

Here, we learn
Here's our example
Not their job,
But still so ample.

Love is groceries
Love is here
Love is with us
Love is near

We love love
And we love food
Feeding us
Is a whole mood

Thanks for boxes
And for friendship
Essentials from
An essential

Worker,
Person,
Human,
Friend.

Boxes
Full of groceries
What

I can't
Think beyond
What the fuck

Because there's
Birthday
And then
Basics

I can't
Tell you
How I'll
Take this

Amazing
Kind and
Selfless act

How can we
Ever
Pay you
Back?

When your joy
Is shared
And enjoyed
And appreciated

It is so happy
To experience
Their experience
Vicariously

Appreciating
What
They're
Appreciating

(What you
Appreciate)

Replay
That shit
Four times
More times

Because there's
Never enough times
For talent
To be heard.

Light up the night
Around you.

Signal for
Backup

Or love
Or I see you.

Use light
In our everyday

Life to illuminate
What's in our hearts

And what is
Innate.

Do what you can
Say no when you
Can't

Know we understand
And don't judge you
For that.

Know you are loved
In your very own
Skin

You don't need to
Change
A bit to fit in

So be who you are
And know we are
Here

We see you
We love you
We hope this
Is clear.

Wincing
Aching
Old pain
Quaking.

"Are you better?"
(Better than what?)

Am I worse?
Do I not measure up?

Am I
Not enough?

This human
Thing is hard
When I don't know
How to human.

This hurts--

This inaugural
Question
In our friendship

Does not
Bode well.

Pink Tree

Pink tree blossoms
Falling slowly
Down

Pink tree blossoms
Blowing all
Around.

Look
At all the pink!

Watch it
Now and think

Of all the
Beauty
That surrounds

Us
At any
Given time.

This canopy
Abounds
Around us

Yours and
Yours
And mine.

Connection
Reflection
Honesty
Do you
See me?

The question
We're all asking
Unmask us
Ask us
How are we?

Can we
Believe
Be
See
Each other?

Reach out
And share
And talk
And know
You're seen
Now.

Bonding by videos:
Bread-baking
And
Trampolining.

Reading and sharing
Well-loved books.

A new candle warmer
Waits.

We love.

We wait, too.

We exist in stop-motion
Knowing
That one day
We will move
Again.

But we don't know
Can't imagine
What one day
Might look like.

Today, laundry was
Stressful and sleeping
Was hard, but
Wilbur was the  best
Watch-pig <3

We celebrated with
Carlyle -- birthday
Grilled cheese --
And watched
Vilissa be a Zoom
Panelist for a
Crip Camp chat,
So good!

We finished
Kindness and are
So excited
To read
Hunger Games
Together.

We watched a
Disney singalong
For the inner children,
Had TC,
Read books,
And then, sadly,
Our candle warmer broke :(

But that's
What friends
Are for
Apparently--
Because friends
Came through.

Inspired by the QB Theme

Our friendship
Is just as complex
As we.

It
Goes up
In waves.

It
Hesi
       tates.

One day
We are surface
The next

We are in
Deep, connecting.
Always

And forever
In
Triplicate.

Clashing briefly
In our passions,
Descending

To depths
Felt
Suddenly

And only
By one another.
We breathe.

We exist
In a space
So sacred

We dare not
Disturb it.
Not perfect.

But neither are we.
One for all.
And all for three.

Nina

You and I
We are two of the
Same.

To me,
You're not
Different
Or awkward or strange.

It's uncanny
Everything I can see
Because looking at you
I see so much of me.

It's in your smile.
It's in your gait.
It's in your wish
To fit someplace.

You are so unique
And so wonderfully made
I wish you could see it.
I wish all else would fade.

You are one of my kind
Tense muscles and all
Be yourself with pride
Keep your head up.
Stand tall.

Together

Let me see you -
Who you really are.
Show me all of you
And I
Will return the gesture.
And I
Will react kinder
Than you might ever
Guess.
Show me your face;
I'll show you my own.
Be everything I am
Beneath the surface.
I'll let you see me -
Who I really am -
I will show you
All of me.
I'll show you
My own face.
Just look.
Just see.
Just find
What lies
Beneath.