In Anticipation Of November

Thoughts roam within me.
Opportunity looms before me.
I can’t wait to commit
Every word to paper.
This is a challenge
That I have faced -
An obstacle
That I have already
Overcome.
And if it’s possible
To taste victory twice,
I will.
I’m ready.

Autumn Vigil

When I breathe
There is
Awareness -
That of living.
When I listen
There is
Bereavement
In leaves blowing.
When I think
There is
Nothing -
So I won’t have to face
Everything.
But
As long as I live
There is
Hope.

Building Bridges

Love extends
Beyond distance
To bridge any gap
Between those who
Wish they were
Together.

Necessity

Thoughts
Bleed together.
Clarity
Is nonexistent.
Thoughts of loss.
Thoughts of joy.
Thoughts of
Purposelessness,
As I put my pen
To paper and
Write with no
Objective.
I write only
With the certainty
Of someone
Who needs to commit
Something to paper
Before
This day ends
And another
Begins.

Release

Healing and falling
Deserving and longing
Can't hold on to let go
Nothing left for me to show.
Don't know what I'm trying to say
But I'm grateful for the chance
To release this at the last
No pain left to hold me back
Understanding others lack
Found in unexpected form.
Shown what no one else could feel
Could this possibly be real
That someone else can feel my pain
That this can somehow break the chains
I've laid around my teenage years
Held them captive in my fear
Finally they are breaking.

Outside Of Peacetime

My life is a constantly
Changing, yet similar
Venture
In a constantly
Changing and degenerating
World.
I don’t feel safe,
And yet I am numb
To news of soldiers
From my country
Losing their lives to war.
Three years ago, I had
No idea what it was
Like to live in wartime.
Now I am all-too-familiar.
War numbs everyone.
Attack makes people
React without thought
To the loss.
And the chaos that has
Come upon us
Makes us want to hold
The children in our lives
Close -
For fear that we might
Lose them in a fight
They should have never
Had to fight.

Reality

Understanding fades
As I realize
I always reach
For the familiar
Instead of facing
What’s within.
Realization comes
Because I know
That what I reach for
Is not enough.
Reality creeps
Slowly over me
And I fall because
I can’t take this on.
And suddenly
The peace that passes
Is here, enduring.
So, in reality
I’m okay after all.

Father

I want to know a love without condition -
Hands that lift me up, not strike me down.
I want to know a father for what He truly is,
Just show me how to turn it all around.
No one says you look like him
You never had his smile,
Only features you can’t place
And blood to bridge the miles.
Examples of My character have fallen
Short of truth.
And I know you’ve always felt so
Separated.
But do you know I loved you far before
You were created?
I will be your Father.
Will you be My child?
I have been your Father.
I will be your Father.
So now I only have one question,
Will you be my child?

Rise

Raise your hand and I will cower
Threaten me and I will bend
Tell me I’m worthless, I’ll believe
And then we’ll start again.
You were a child and took us on
I was a child; I endured
You feel cheated and I, indebted
Neither one can see beyond.
But strike me down and see what happens
As I retreat and you despise
Although I may want to bow under you
I want this more: and still I rise.
So try to break me if you must
You never will succeed
‘Cause I have fire you can’t find-
Desire to be free.

Received

So many days spent just getting through
But I know I can't turn myself inside
Your eyes see deeper than I wanna show
Accepting me when I'm gonna explode.
Not sure when everything turned to grey
I just know it wasn't always this way
The light has dimmed but is not gone
Just gotta figure out how to get back home
God, can you hear me?
The faith I had is gone
'Cause I ain't a child no more
God... Oh, God, can you hear me?
You saw the pain I tried to hide
Cried and held me - I just sighed
Can't feel nothin' but the pain
But I know I'm not alone again.
When you reached out your hand
Offered it to help me stand
That's when everything came clear-
It's how I know God can hear me...