Thursday, November 16, 2017

How is it possible
That I can feel
Just as isolated
Lonely Worthless Punished
and Burdensome
When I am with you
As when you leave
Me behind?
Whether your face is
Before me with its
Anger Disgust Contempt
or Silent Judgement
as you force a thing
or as you martyr
Yourself
For having to deal
With someone like me.
Would you believe
That I feel just as
Hated Rejected Harmed
Disrespected and Devalued
When you
Take them and you
Leave me?
It's no big deal?
Keep telling yourself
That
As you walk around
The store with the
Family
You always wanted.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

An odd place
to give space
to something
I never want(ed)
to speak of -
to think of -
to be.
But it's small here
So maybe not as
Daunting
to give words to the
Haunting
Happening (12 + 24 = ?)
What do I know of
This - anything?
Can I think less?
Deny more?
But that's what
She wanted
Wasn't it?
(It doesn't hurt.)
How would she know
Peek now into my soul
This thing is alive -
The memory's in me
I am worth this (everything)
Processing
Because what happened to me
Is not
Nothing.

Monday, August 14, 2017

What Ableism Looks Like

Ableism.

It's an -ism lesser known
Less understood
Because it's less discussed.
So let's do it.
Let's talk about it.
This ableism -
What is it -
Exactly?

Ableism is
Discrimination
Against
Disabled
People.

Your kids
With disabilities
Face it every day.

It looks like
Someone mocking
Your child for how
Their disability
Makes them look
Or move
Or speak.

It looks like
Someone dismissing
Your child's word
Because their disability
Means society
Does not take them seriously.

It looks like a pastor
Taking away your child's mobility aids
And insisting
They walk without them.
It's when that pastor
Prays for healing -
For your child to be delivered
Of something that actually shapes
Your child
Into being who they are.

It looks like
A high school kid taking something
Away from your kid
Without consent
And leaving
Because they know
Your kid can't go after them
To get it back.

It's the aide in middle school who
Makes your child feel alienated.
Who reports back to you if
They do something the aide
Does not approve of.
It's making your kid feel
Like there is a double-standard
In place.
One for the other kids,
And one for them,
Because they're disabled.

It's the teacher in elementary school
Who denies your child ribbons on
Track and Field Day,
Because events need to be
Modified.
Because your child
Has a disability.
They offer stickers instead.
Your child feels slapped.
Degraded.

It's when a therapist mocks
Your child's walk.

It's when your child's "no"
Is disregarded.

It's when your child is called
Lazy.  Uncaring.  Inattentive.
When the reality is
Their disability is
Invisible.

It's when your child's adaptive equipment is
"Too heavy."

It's when your child's negative
(But completely valid)
Feelings
Are written off as a symptom
And not treated as legitimate.

It's when your child is regarded
As a list of symptoms.
As broken.  As damaged.
As flawed.
As less valuable.
As less than whole.

It's when your child is blamed
For an inability to control their bodies.
When their actions are viewed as
Misbehavior.  As intentionally
Aggravating.
When, in fact, they are trying
So hard, always,
To stay in control.

It's when a stranger asks "What's wrong with him?"
Or, "Did you know before you had him?"
Or says, "She's too pretty to be in a wheelchair,"
Right in front of your child.
Or pushes that wheelchair
(With your child in it.
Without asking.)
Without regard for the fear they are striking
In your child at that moment.

It's when media constantly paints your child
As a burden.
And being disabled
As the worst fate ever.

It is loud
Like your child being called
The R-word.
Like your child being hurt
For what they can't help.

It's quiet
Like your child being ignored
When they try to engage
Other kids
And even, sometimes,
Grown ups.

It's when your child
Can't prove they know something
So, it's assumed they don't.
It's when this assumption
That
"They don't understand,"
Is used as permission
To overshare and disrespect.

It's when your child
Is not believed
When they need to be
Believed.

So...

Celebrate your child
For the way adaptive equipment helps them
For their unique way of moving
For finding a way to communicate that works for them.

Take your child
With a disability
Seriously.

Know that supporting your child
And respecting your child
Are not the same thing.

Make sure your child
Experiences both
From you.

Because your child's words are
Valid.
They are
Valued.
They should be protected
And know
Always
That they are enough
And whole.

Believe in them
And believe
Them.

Monday, August 7, 2017

'Healing' Video

A man is praying.
And
Really
What's so wrong
With that?

Well, nothing.

Unless you look
Closer.
Unless you see
That the woman
Being prayed for
Is
Being prayed for
In the women's section
Of a department store.

Unless you see
How her hand covers her 
Neck, and does not move.
Guarding the 
Intense
Vulnerability
I know she feels.

Unless you notice
How the man
Never calls her 
By any name - 
Almost like
She isn't human.

She protests:
"I can't walk.  
This is just 
How I am."

And he screams at her:

"GET UP."

I am thrown back
Through time.

The man's hands
Change.
They take my crutches
And set them down
Away from me.
He paces with me.
He tries
To let
Go 
Of 
Me.

Time drags.

It feels like twenty minutes
(Twenty minutes too damn long.)

He never asked my name.
He just blamed
What didn't happen next
On me.

That's why I don't
Need to see
Videos of a man
Screaming at a woman.
Heedless of her discomfort
Of her very humanity
Of her dignity.

Because in the end
It's always about those
Who push themselves
On those of us
Who their acts
Harm 
Far more than
A disability
Ever 
Could.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Ari

We shouldn't recoil.
We shouldn't dread.
We shouldn't fear.

But

We do.

We do recoil.
We hide.
We're afraid
With good reason.

Can loving more
Stop it?
Stop this
Heinous
Insidious
Violence
That finds us?

I have to believe
That yes,
It does.

For one young woman
To take her fear, her trauma, her
Unimaginable grief
And
Mere days later
To transform it
Into an unyielding
Force of love?

That is something.
That is the opposite
Because - to quote you -

YOU are the opposite.