Hearing you
Seeing you
Making this
All about you
Makes me doubt myself
My memory
My credibility
Like hers, you might say
It's full of holes
Because I was 12
Or I wasn't
Because it was fall
Or it wasn't
Because it happened
Or maybe it didn't
According to you
And those like you
I remember where
And when
And how
And who
I remember how
It hurt
I remember the words
The face I was faced with
I remember the denial that I cultivated
I remember body memories
At 13
At 18
At 26
I remember speaking about this
At 36.
So maybe waiting
Makes me less credible
According to leaders
To people
In power positions.
Maybe nothing happened
At all.
But why do I remember the words?
The pain and pressure the no's I screamed
The "stop" I wished for? Why is the dismissal
Inscribed indellibly in my not-memory, of the not-assault
When I was 12
Or maybe not-12?
