In His Own Words

"Even as I write this, I can feel
My fingers shaking.
Death makes me feel lonely…
It fills me with sadness
Just thinking of
What is to come.
Why do I have to die?
Sometimes I get angry at God
For making this happen to me,
And I’ll almost start to cry
Because all I can think about is
How much I don’t want to die
And how much I wish
I was healthy.
How do those who actually die
Get chosen?
I’d rather battle life than have to die.
Mostly, I get scared.
My body is slowly deteriorating.
I have trusted in the Lord
And I am made to die.
Fearing death is worse than
Crashing into a pickup truck.
I can’t bear this…
It brings too much pain
Too much heartache
It hurts.
I will not allow myself to die.
I can’t. I won’t.
I can’t leave…but I know I will.
I know you’re gonna miss me
And it’s gonna hurt for a long time
But remember I am with God
In a wonderful place
Where I can feel no harm or sin.
Life is beautiful.
Never give up on it.
Goodbye…
I love you."

*Compiled by me, from E-mails from Shane.