Here and After

There is beauty
In your echo
Left behind
For us to hear.
There is comfort
Coming steady
In the everything
You are.
There is peace
In the distance
In knowing
What's waiting.
So whether you're
Nine or ten or
Eleven,
Whether age is
Just a
Number in heaven,
What truly matters is
The kind of ripples
You leave behind.
What matters is
The soul you find.
None of us and
All of us
Come out alive.
So let's,
As you have,
Make the most of the time.
Do what we can
So the best of us survives.

Defender

Take down your eagerness
To please - to be sensitive
Put up your forcefield
Build up your fences.
Take down the temptress
Of temper and just live
Breathe and believe
That you can defend this.
Who will stand up for him
If it's not you?
Isn't it the least
A person can do?

Awake to Dreaming

If only
I could dream you
Back
Into existence.
If only
I could conjure you
Simply by
Putting your name
Out into
The universe.
If only,
By doing
This very thing,
You could return
Here.
If only we could
See you,
Hear you,
Touch you,
Love you...
If only you could
Be you
Here
With us again...
In the meantime
I will dream of you...
In the meantime
I will conjure
Dancing
And rainbows...
And in the meantime
I will know
That you are
Where you are
Supposed to be.
Even and if only -
For now and too soon -
I will speak your name.
I will remember you.

Peanut

Nothing more
Exciting
Than a new
Little life
To look
Forward
To.
New little feet
And new little
Hands.
A new
Little
Person
To love
And to
Get
To know.

Unexpected Beauty

Even in
The midst of
So much darkness,
Beauty
Surrounds me.
It comes in
Various
Shapes and sizes
Like
My dad,
Like
Three
Amazing
Kids
That I
Was blessed
To care for
If only
For a time.
Sometimes
Beauty
Looks like
An unexpected
Visit.
Sometimes
It looks
Like a smile.
Sometimes,
It takes the
Shape of
An atomic
Turkey.
And sometimes
It is stopping
To listen
And pausing
To realize
That even
Amidst the pain,
Life
Looks pretty
Great.

Difference in Presence

Never too many
Only too few
We counted
The days
Now
We count them
Anew.
So let's turn
In circles
With heads
Held up high
Observing
And dreaming
Your home
In the sky.
So let's dance
In the footprints
You left behind
With joy
And with hope
We'll shine
As you shined.
So, wake with
The morning
As you, and
As we -
We'll look up
And see you -
You're still here
It seems.

Tally Marks

Put another tally mark
Up on the wall
Because this marks
The day when -
Yet again -
We are turning
In endless
Circles.
This marks
The day when -
Yet again -
We are waiting
For you
To come
To your senses.
Dig down deep
And make a change.
Only you
Can save
Yourself.

"For My Girl..."

I imagine you
Dancing
To any music
Anywhere.
Your grace is
Etched in
My
Consciousness.
And somewhere
Beyond where
I can see
Or touch,
And beyond
Where you
Can see
Or touch,
That's where
He exists.
His image
Tattooed on
The back
Of your
Eyelids.
His words
Echoing
Deep in
Your heart.
When you least
Expect it,
That's when
He comes
To let you know
He is not
Gone,
But with you
Still...
For as you dance,
He remains
Close at hand,
Passing along
Messages from
Beyond here
And now.
New messages
To carry with you
In your heart
Until
You meet
Again.

Empirical

Play your own game
And dance your own dance
Keep your head up
Give yourself half a chance.
If you touch a piece
Then you have to move it
Believe in yourself
Get out there and do it.
Dream your own dreams
And let people in
Behind painted lines
The magic begins.

Gyre

Nervous and lonely
Constricted and tight
Don't know how to be
In my body tonight.
So, maybe, I'm spinning -
So, maybe, are you -
Around in a gyre
Everything to lose.
As long as we're here
And as long as there's hope
Let us emerge
From this narrow scope.

Heck Yes!

A beautiful
Productive
Day
To watch
And do
And be.
To reach
Outside
My own
Small box
And be
There
For
Just myself
To see.

In Touch

Waiting
Patiently,
Or not so patiently -
To hear
More
About
What is about
To take
Place.

Turning Over a New Leaf

I am trying
To turn over
A new leaf
Regarding
My fear
And alarming
About things
I can't change.
It's about time
I realized
That sometimes
A storm is
All that a
Storm is.
That sometimes
A storm is
Necessary
For a change
In the
Weather.

It's a Good Feeling

It feels so
Amazing
To accomplish
Something.
It feels so
Satisfying
To succeed
At something.
It feels so
Peaceful
To be at
Peace
With
Myself.

Musical Inspiration

Times like these
We just need
A little musical
Inspiration
To help us
Through
Whatever
We're in
The midst of.
So, just sit back
And listen,
And let
Yourself
Be lifted
Up.

Open Up

Never just
Another birthday
To celebrate
Just who you are.
So open up
From deep inside you
The gift that
Is you
And share it
With those
Around you.
Happy birthday
Seems so simple
But it is what
I wish for
You.

Now and Then

Feeling relaxed
But a little
Disconnected -
Not sure how
To regain it all
Again,
But I know
It will come
With the passing
Of time
And
It will be
Just
As it's meant
To be
Then.

Together

Let me see you -
Who you really are.
Show me all of you
And I
Will return the gesture.
And I
Will react kinder
Than you might ever
Guess.
Show me your face;
I'll show you my own.
Be everything I am
Beneath the surface.
I'll let you see me -
Who I really am -
I will show you
All of me.
I'll show you
My own face.
Just look.
Just see.
Just find
What lies
Beneath.

How Beauty Comes

Beauty comes
In many forms -
In children,
Experience
Beyond your doors -
Beauty comes
In song and
Dances.
In life, in
Love, and
Second
Chances.

Shaping Sound

I see you spin
From such great heights
Around and around
Beneath the lights
Above the dancers -
Above the ground -
I watch as you
Are shaping sound.

The Beauty of Meditation

Feeling calm and
Connected,
Aware
And inspired
And hoping
For more of the
Same
Sometime soon.
Because I'm loving
The me I become
When I am
Calm and
Connected
And aware
And inspired
And most of all
Hopeful.

Never Too Late

It's never too late
To learn something new.
To be, and to breathe
And to understand me.
It's never too late
To turn things around
To learn and to grow
And to finally see.

See Me

Such a beautifully
Idle
Use of a day
Just reading
And talking
And whiling
Away,
These things
And these issues
That I cannot change
So why shouldn't I
Just relax and escape?
Not for good
But a moment
To talk and to be
To not worry or
Wonder
What people will see.
Does it really matter
In the grand scheme
Of things
What people think
When they
See
Me?

Keep The Peace

Still as clear
As yesterday -
Today and all it's
Pain.
I never will
Forget that day
How there was no one
Left to blame.
A day when children
Left for school
Like any other morning
But by the end
Twelve less returned
And set the country
Mourning.
A teacher was lost
That day, too,
And countless more
Lives changed.
I remember it like
It just happened
My sense of safety
Ripped away.
Yet it is not my tragedy
To hold and feel and fear.
It's that of those
Who lived it through -
It's that of those
Who are still here.

What Beauty Is

It's a beautiful day
Anytime I can
Do what I love.
But even if I can't,
And even if I don't,
It is still a beautiful day
Anytime I am
The person
I want to be -
Someone who
Loves others -
And someone who is
Loved.

Care

New experiences
Lie just around
The corner
And though they are
Not so new,
They fill me
With optimism
For the future.
When I think of this,
My outlook feels like
A piano's soaring
Melody...
Like a joyous
Refrain
Sung with
Many voices.
Because what we
Will endeavor
Does not take
Only one person.
Instead, it takes
Many.
And not strictly
Many hands -
But many hearts,
And souls
As well.

Nobody's Perfect

What lies just
Around the bend?
I hope it's better
Than it's been.
I want to do more
Than I can show.
Nobody's perfect.
I should know.
What lies beyond
What I know now?
I hope to somehow
Turn it around.
I want to give more
Than I can take.
Nobody's perfect.
No mistake.
What lies just
Within my heart?
Believe it's ready
From the start.
I am everything
I can say.
Nobody's perfect...
And that's okay.

Minor Chords

See only the surface
I beg you
Because what I keep
Hidden
Is outside your view
For a very good reason.
For it's in the quiet
Places that
I long to never
Look
Because it's
Easier.
I desire -
As we all do -
To show my best
Self
And to leave the rest
To your imagination.
So, see what I'm hiding?
I'd rather you didn't.
Though I've not so many
Secrets
To keep quiet
I'd prefer it.
Because there are
Scars inside
And out -
And I'd rather
You went without
Knowing their history.
I'll show what I like,
I'll share with discretion
But I'll never mention
Just what's hiding
Beneath the surface.

Carly

Your voice is not
The only
Remarkable
Thing
About you.
Like
The fact that you
Choose to use
Your voice
When you could
So easily,
So quickly,
So silently,
Choose not
To speak a word.
Like
Your willingness
To share
The mysteries,
The painful things,
The secrets,
The everything
That makes you
You.
That
Is what
Makes you
Remarkable.
That is what
Makes you
Carly.

The Gift of You

Dear Grandpa,

Today is your birthday -

And it seems strange -

Because I am

The one

Who has

Received the gift.

"What gift?"

You might ask.

Well, Grandpa...

The gift of

You.

Though today is

Your birthday,

I am the one

Feeling so lucky

To have a

Great grandpa

Like you.

I have three decades

Of memories

To look back on.

When I forgot the

Jokes

I told you

As a little girl,

You reminded me.

("A little girl

Once told

An older lady,

"Your socks

Are all wrinkled!"

And the older lady

Said,

"I don't have any

Socks on!")

I remember how

You sipped your coffee

In the mornings

So

Loudly,

To make

Me laugh.

I remember

Going to the

Store,

And picking out

A Big Wheel

To ride.

I remember how

Hard you worked

To alter the

Pedals

So that I

Could ride.

I think about you

Every time

I eat

Fresh vegetables.

I think about you

Every time

I watch

Wheel of Fortune.

I think about you

Every time

I hear a song.

I think about you

Every

Single

Day.

So in a way,

We are never

Apart

From one another.

You are the greatest

Gift

A great-granddaughter

Could ask for.

Thank you, Grandpa,

For everything

You are.

I love you

And I

Am always

With you.

Tightrope Walking

We each are walking

Our own tightrope

With more weight

Than we can bear.

Balance is

A sweet necessity.

Honesty is

Such a relief

When we can see

The fakers

A mile away.

Let me say

That what helps

Most

In the struggle

To juggle

All the boxes

Containing my

Troubles

Is to

Reach out.

It's to share

It's to speak out

And to know

That someone

Somewhere

Is listening.

Whether that someone

Is at home with her child

Or whether that someone

Is somewhere beyond us...

The fact is,

It isn't solely up to us

To keep our strife-filled

Boxes

Aloft.

We can share them.

We can open them.

We can let out the pain

And know

That someone, somewhere

Loves us.

We can know

That someone, somewhere

Hears us.

Heaven and Earth Birthdays

Happy birthday to

My great-grandma,

Who is celebrating

Herself in a

Wonderful way,

In the after

Of existence...

And

Happy birthday to

My honorary niece,

Who is celebrating

One amazing year

Of life

In there here

And in the now

With all of us

Who love her.

Choosing To Believe

I choose to believe

It's not like they say.

That we can all enter -

That we're all the same.

There is right and wrong

But not right and wrong people

What place does that have

In a church, 'neath a steeple?

The point is not judging

But acceptance, you see.

Not to see only flaws -

Not to love by degrees.

So, when our days are over

And our work is through

Don't listen to them...

You can come in, too.

Worth It

Let's be stronger

Today

Than yesterday.

Let's let ourselves

Have the opportunity

To heal, and to

Be healthy

In spite of

The way things

Are going down

Around us.

Because just as

You are

Worth it,

So, too,

Am I.

Dark Night

Is it that time
Of year again?
The time to spin
And then descend?
Is it the time
To watch you
Slowly
Disappear?
Is it that time
Of year again
Where no matter what
You can't say when?
Where we watch you grasp
We sit back and ask
"What can be done?"
When the lies run amok
And the monster's won?
How do we cope
On this years-long journey
When there is never
An end in sight?
And how will we ever
See you through
To the other side
Of this dark night?

Birdsong

A spring breeze blows

And birds are singing

And I remember

So many mornings

Spent like this.

With the chorus

Of birds and all their

Distinct voices

Calling to each other

And calling to us.

From so far off -

Yet not as great

A distance

As I once perceived -

I hear you

In the birdsong

And in the silence

Calling to me.