Forever Fifteen

Always a child
Trapped in an age
Can’t grow up, ‘cause
You’re stuck on a page
In the book of life.

Never

"When will God take the world apart?"
Will He lose faith in me?
Will He stop loving me?
Does He not hear me when I pray?
When I pray my soul to keep,
Has He forgotten about mine?
Sinners are destined for a place
I can’t say. Does God want me at
The head of that line?
For the answers to all these questions
There is only one word that we need -
That is the first word on this page -
The one that caught my eyes:
Never.
There’s one more thing I have to ask.
Why? After all the bad things I do?
I smile as I hear the whispered reply.
God says, “It’s very simple, my child,
Because I love you.”

Jesus On The Counter

Jesus, there You are before us.
You see and You know all.
But how do we react?
Some ignore You; some wanna hate You.
The unreached and full of rage
Walk before You.
You go unacknowledged.
I cannot imagine the tears You’ve cried
For children so far from You.
But You have lit a flame in my heart
That refuses to perish.
I want to know You.
Your dwelling place is beautiful
And I long for it.
I promise You now -
I will take you down from the counter
And help Your presence enter those
Who need to want You more
Than life itself.

Secrets Of Heaven

You’re in a place I cannot go
Until God calls me to.
You have secrets, that I know,
For I believe in you.
Like the child that you are
You want to let it out.
The grin that lights your face
Tells what you’re about.
I know you want to tell me
But you showed God you could
Keep the knowledge you have silent
As you promised Him you would.
And you whisper to me like the wind
Softly, and you don’t say much.
Then you just retreat,
Too far away to touch.
I don’t know the secrets of heaven
And that makes our Father proud.
So, I’ll just wait ‘til we’re together
To hear you speak them aloud.

Blessing

In meeting you
I was richly blessed.
I knew you were separate
From the rest.
I miss your words
Because God has your spirit.
I yearn for your voice
Because I never got to hear it.
You longed for ‘something that reflects
Who you are, and has profound meaning,’
To help your friends and family
Through the process of grieving.
‘I will not allow myself to die,’ you said.
A few months ago, your words I read.
Your compassionate heart and loving soul
Were truly beautiful to behold.
Knowing you has been a pleasure,
For you saw the glory, you felt the treasure.
When I was feeling low
I could always count on you
To make the smile hidden
On my inside show through.
The world was blessed
For fifteen years,
And your passing has led us
To shed many tears.
But on those days
When I want to fall apart,
I remember what you said,
‘Keep me in your heart.’

Child Of Yours

My soul feels lonely
But full of Your love.
My spirit is trapped,
While his flies like a dove.
Jesus, do You have him?
Father, I ask You now,
Even though I don’t know how,
How do I let go of this child of Yours?
He saw the glory
And You used him
To share Your story.
It hurts tremendously
To be left behind,
And that was always on the mind
Of this child of Yours.

Promised Release

He was having a good time
Enjoying himself
When suddenly his hopes and dreams
Were put high up on a shelf.
At the hospital, the doctors say
“This boy needs blood, or he will not stay.”
“God, why have you let this happen?”
His parents ask a month later,
When their faith is shaken, and spirits are dampened
The doctor tells them:
“This is a fluke, and it should not be
But the blood given to your son
Was positive for HIV.”
From that moment on,
The boy was changed.
Now instead of skateboarding and
School and girls
He thought about death
And how his life was rearranged.
Under such a heavy burden
Most would crumble.
And there were times when
In his faith he did stumble.
Asking God, “Why, after I have served
You my whole life? This is not what I deserved!”
“My child,” God replied
“You pray each night your soul I’ll keep;
And you must know, when you suffer I weep.
I will never forsake you, or give you more
Than you can handle, in your journey to heaven’s door.”
Slowly, his relationship grew with the Lord
As the boy thought of the hand he was dealt.
And he often wondered if anyone else his age
Knew the first thing about how he felt.
The trials he faces with each passing day
Are far greater than anyone could say.
But knowing this child has taught me a lesson in
How to live my life.
He has been made stronger
In the midst of tremendous strife.
His courage is amazing,
And God will surely be pleased
When he calls this boy
To the gates of his kingdom
And promised release.

Trapped

Where is Mommy?
I wonder as I roll down the
hallway on a big bed.
I'm in a scary room
And I want my sissy.
These clown jammies
Are much too big.
Don't these doctors
Know I'm only three?

I'm on my knees on
The big bed.
A doctor with a
mask and a hat
with animals on it
is holding a mask
on my face.

"Say hi to Ernie and Bert,"
he says.
I start crying
because I know
Ernie and Bert don't
live inside that mask.

I'm starting to get sleepy
Tingling from head to toe,
I can't get up.
It feels like I'm floating
right off the table.

Uncertainty

As I sit in Creative Writing I
I think of you and wonder
how you are.
I imagine your face,
Your fun sense of humor
And your love for country music.
It's only now that I realize,
I never really got attached,
Hardly even knew you
And now I really
wish I did.
Hww was life
when you were young?
I desperately want to know.
I'm so afraid of losing you.
so,
before you leave
tease me like you used to,
tell me you're okay.
Because I love you
And I cannot
let you go.

I Am

I am the braces on a toddler.
The constant reminder
that this four year old
is unable to run with
the other kids.

I am the scars
on a young girl's legs.
A permanent imperfection
that can never be erased.
Every time she slips on
a pair of shorts
she thinks of me
and worries about
rejection.

I am a pair of Canadian crutches.
Supporting, listening and understanding
the trials and tribulations of
a teenager's confused emotional state.

I am the teal Quickie
that gives the girl freedom
she has always dreamed of,
"You don't have to run,"
I tell her.
"With me, you can fly!"