While Angels Wait

Two brothers
A single soul
He has peace
You fight for control.
Now you’re apart
Forever, it seems
At night one plays
In the other’s dreams.
You saw him
Before he got wings
And now from heaven
Your angel sings
Over you, a joyful song
So the time you wait
Won’t feel as long.
And so for now
On earth you’ll stay
Until God comes
To carry you away.
The first you’ll see
Will be his face.
The first you’ll feel
Is his embrace.
Today, please know
That while you stand
And wait for God
To take your hand
You have friends around
Who care, it’s true,
And the best kind of angel
Watching over you.

How?

How do I express
The void left in my heart
The day God came
To take you home?
How can I put into words
The pain I feel
And try to hide?
How is it possible to let them see
How bad I hurt
And the emptiness that fills me?
How can I accept
That I will never
Get another letter,
Or another kind word
From you?
With God’s help
I will get better.
With His presence
I will feel joy.
His love will overflow in me,
The sadness will be no more.
I know you aren’t completely gone
Because you are with Him.
I also pray I will see you
Someday, in heaven,
My friend.

In His Own Words

"Even as I write this, I can feel
My fingers shaking.
Death makes me feel lonely…
It fills me with sadness
Just thinking of
What is to come.
Why do I have to die?
Sometimes I get angry at God
For making this happen to me,
And I’ll almost start to cry
Because all I can think about is
How much I don’t want to die
And how much I wish
I was healthy.
How do those who actually die
Get chosen?
I’d rather battle life than have to die.
Mostly, I get scared.
My body is slowly deteriorating.
I have trusted in the Lord
And I am made to die.
Fearing death is worse than
Crashing into a pickup truck.
I can’t bear this…
It brings too much pain
Too much heartache
It hurts.
I will not allow myself to die.
I can’t. I won’t.
I can’t leave…but I know I will.
I know you’re gonna miss me
And it’s gonna hurt for a long time
But remember I am with God
In a wonderful place
Where I can feel no harm or sin.
Life is beautiful.
Never give up on it.
Goodbye…
I love you."

*Compiled by me, from E-mails from Shane.

Nothing Hurts

At heaven’s gate
She stands,
Waiting for her Father.
Today, she’s perfect.
Nothing hurts.
After talking a while
With her Lord
They decide what she
Will do.
Smiling broadly
She says, “Okay,
As long as I don’t have to cook.”
God laughed.
His daughter had such wit and humor.
Adapting quickly,
She loves her position,
Meeting new arrivals
Who come in.
She assists the elderly
Up to the sky.
Getting down softly,
She greets the children,
Comforting those
Who are sad.
The ones who are
Too weak to walk
She carries
To her Father’s throne
Where He gives them
Wings to fly.
Looking down
Around a cloud,
She notices
Someone coming.
Putting on her best smile,
She reaches out
For the hand she knows
Will be there.
Her distinctive grin
Softened as she looked
Into a tired young face,
Much like her own
Had been.
“Hi,” she said softly.
“I’m the angel of joy.”
The face of the child
Was drained of color.
Breathing was an effort
In itself.
Standing at the gate
She caught him
As his leg gave.
She saw his eyes were full of tears.
“It’s okay…I know.”
Lifting him gently,
She brought him to
God’s throne
Where he was given wings to fly.
Today, he’s perfect.
Nothing hurts.

The Power Of God's Love

Every day, I am amazed
I think, “How can this be?”
That God showed you the love He had
And you gave that to me.
A simple thing,
I know you think
It isn’t very much.
And now I finally understand
That you don’t have a magic touch.
But what you do have
Is much greater than any worldly thing.
You have love, which comes from God,
Our Father, Lord, and King.
I was on my way to God-knows-where
When you reached out a hand
To lend support and comfort
And to help me understand.
In your obedience
And your choice,
I heard God speaking
Through your voice.
There is one verse I remember,
“I am weak, then I am strong.”
You quoted that and I realized
To Him I do belong.
Discovering God’s love again
I could finally see
God had a plan for my life on earth,
And that knowledge set me free.
So if there’s one thing I want to do
Before God takes me home,
It’s to do for someone what you did for me
With the kindness and love I’ve been shown.
I thank God that He sent down
An angel to turn my life around.
I’m more grateful for what you’ve done,
Because I understand the race you run.
But if we are determined and persevere,
We have no reason at all to fear.
He is guiding your steps,
Making your path
I believe we’ll be friends for now
And many years after.
You are a precious gift from God
He sent to do His best.
For the work He’s done through you,
I’ll be forever blessed.

Hearing Voices

I hear a voice
Can’t help but wonder
Did you sound like that?
Even though I
Have peace and hope
Knowing where you’re at.
For Jesus is
The King of Kings,
He loved you so much.
Now it is He
Who cares for you
And feels your true touch.
Cloudy skies when
The rain so soft falls
Lightly to the earth.
Sometimes I look up
And wonder how much
This is really worth.
To sit down here
And weep for you, ten
Thousand tears, I’m sure,
When all the while
What I want is to be
With you one day more.
Deep inside, I
Scream and shout because
I want this to end.
A life is lost
An angel made
Of my cherished friend.
But when my grief
Comes blinding me in
Unrelenting waves,
I remember
How my sweet Jesus
Mercifully saves.
I’m thinking now,
And I know that
Jesus felt such joy
Enveloping
Gently in His arms,
You, His little boy.

When I Turned Away

When I turned away from You
I could not understand
How You would still be here for me
Continuing to hold my hand.
Recently, I realized
It was Your glory I stole
When I chose to live for me
And have all the control.
When I turned away from You
I cherished material things
Never knowing, all the while
I was in the shadow of Your wings.
A few months back I was content
To live a life of sin
It didn’t make sense that I had to lose
My life to You so I could win.
When I turned away from You
I shut out the light
Because I felt strong enough
To stand alone and fight.
And then one day my eyes were opened
Truth finally showed through
The way I could have life and strength
Was by falling on my face before You.
So when someone turns away from You
Due to earthly desires and human fears
I pray they will come back to You, their Father,
Whose eyes are full of tears.

Burden

I asked for a burden
You gave me a child
To befriend and love
My world was crushed
When he was taken
A fallen angel from above.
But I asked, Lord,
“Ask and you shall receive.”
I asked for a burden
Now I can’t make it leave.
My eyes were opened
My heart was changed
As his young spirit fought
The battle within him raged.
Circumstances are altered
I think differently
If not for the blood of Jesus
I would not be set free.
I want to give up
And take the fall
But You’re there to pick me up
So I can stand tall.
And I asked for a burden
So it’s only right
To carry it quietly
Into the night.

Journey To Jesus

Walking in the house each day
You were the oldest one.
It was you who cared
When your brother was scared
Of the dark, and longed for the sun.
Walking in a friend’s front door,
You took in his terrible pain.
Instead of turning around,
Words of kindness you found
Sheltering him from the rain.
Getting in a car one night,
You caught a ride for home.
He made a choice,
But you heard a voice:
“You will not face this alone.”
Walking down the crowded street,
Your heart longs for the prize -
But how it breaks
When you observe
The absence of light in people’s eyes.
Walking down the halls in school,
You were only one boy.
But how the heads turned
When your passion burned
As you sang to God with joy.
Then, one day, it happened.
You dropped onto the floor.
But God’s mighty grace
Shown upon your face
As He breathed life into you once more.
And now the end is coming,
It’s your time to stand tall.
Even though you fear it
And you don’t want to hear it,
You can’t ignore God’s call.
A hand is extended before you
Beckoning, soft and warm.
In this unfamiliar place
You recognize one face,
And run into Jesus’ open arms.

Broken

I am so unworthy, God
Why did You chose me
To be an earthly child of Yours?
How can this be?
I am so dirty, Father
So sinful, so unclean
Please break this off and wash me
So I’m the child You’ve seen.
Oh how I want to bring You joy
I long to be Your tool,
But so far, I must admit
I’ve acted like a fool.
Not praising You or thanking You
When I wake up each day,
You have given me so much
You are the light You are the way.
Lord, You gave Your only Son
He took away my sin
God, when will I realize
I must lose so I can win?
And be with You
At Your right hand
Someday in heaven,
I will stand.