Falling Away

I made a decision
To give my life
And live in holiness.
Yet today,
It seems like everything
Is gone.
Today, I doubt
And live for the world,
Pretending I can’t see
The people.
Inside, hearts are
All the same,
But I judge them
Because of their faces.
I am weak and worthless.
Here on earth I’ll stay,
And though I want God
To come back to me
My mind tells me otherwise.
For the millionth time
I’m falling away,
I took my focus from the King.
So once again I’ll stand
And begin
Climbing the Rock.

My Psalm

God, grant me hunger
And a fire inside.
Give me a passion
I am not ashamed to hide.
I need humility
And total reliance.
God, help me recognize
All of my weakness.
Help me stand up
When others have fallen.
Grant me boldness
To pursue my calling.
God, I want a soft heart.
I want to be real.
Please let me see
Your plan revealed.

Salvamar

Holding onto the memories
Trapped behind happiness everyone sees
My tears form an ocean
They scream my devotion.
Laid out, I wait for my Savior
To come and condemn my behavior
With harsh words and anger
That keep me from danger.
But He came instead with these words,
I reached for His hand and I heard:
“My child, I love you
Please let me save you
From your ocean of tears
Come, I’ll calm your fears.”
Salvamar, save me from the deep
Salvamar, curse the fear I still keep
Help me jump in with both feet!
You dried the ocean; you made me whole
You guard my life and save my soul!

Losing Shane

No more sunshine
In our lives
Now endless tears
Fall from our eyes.
If he’d come back
Just for a while
Maybe today
You’d see a smile.
But he remains
Where he will stay
Until we meet him
There someday.
If I could give
My life for his
So here on earth
He’d be -
I’d surrender
In a second
All that I’d
Hoped to see.
I’d lay it down
And breathe my last
If he’d return
To earth.
And all of heaven
Would rejoice
In this glorious
Rebirth.

The Shell

For me, I want to keep
The life I had before,
Without regard for
What could be.
But what kind of life is that?
Hidden in darkness,
Indulging in sinful past-times
That only lead to pain.
My inner-resolve crumbles—
My old life crashes around me,
Leaving only a shell
Bathed in shadows.
You want more than that for me,
Yet through it all I remain
Undecided.
What does the future hold?
The life I had knows nothing of it
Only You.
As my thoughts tumble
In a rainbow-colored cyclone,
You reach out.
Your mighty hand
Breaks the shell that held me captive.
Shaking debris from my hair,
I rise.
My old desires remain
In the shell
On the ground.

Blind

Crushed, I grope in darkness
Reaching for the light.
Tears flow like rivers
Down my face.
Attempts to pick myself up
From the floor are useless.
I am only saved by grace.
Everything is dark and hazy
And I try to pray, without success.
Only a miracle would get me out
Of this mess I made…
Just grace.

Soaring

Heart coasting
On adrenaline,
Raise your hands
And shut your eyes.
Turn your gaze
To what’s above.
Hold on now,
Believe.
Your desires
Are His.
Flying with faith—
He won’t let you fall.
On the other side
You’re standing,
So raise your hands
And shut your eyes.

Everything That Stood

Falling, like a child
With no one’s hand
To break the impact
Of a broken body,
Wounded soul
Meeting solid ground.
Grasping in vain at darkness
Crying out for someone to come
And put back together
Everything that stood.
Through the silence
I hear a Voice,
Barely audible
In the deafening solitude
I have created.
Without warning
You take my hands
And help me stand again
Drying my eyes,
Healing my soul.
Today, I stand
On the Rock.

Down To Earth

I looked down to earth
And saw you standing there
Calling My name,
Your hands raised in praise.
I looked down to earth
And saw you lying there,
Face down on the floor
As you cried out for more.
I looked down to earth
And saw you jumping there,
Clapping and singing,
Your voice was ringing.
I looked down to earth
And saw you crying there
As you reached for My hand
So that you could stand.
Today, I looked to My right
And saw you smiling there,
Our hearts beat as one
When I call you My son.

Sacrificial

Lying in a manger
Born to be our Savior.
Hanging on a cross,
Looking to the sky
He said, “Forgive them, Father.”
Nails driven by hatred
Into human hands and feet
That once kicked and reached
To grasp her finger.
Humanity weeps
As Jesus breathes
His last.
Three days of mourning
Then He’s alive again
After dying for our sins.
Fall before Him on your knees
Tell Him honestly.
Give everything you have
To the little baby
Who was sent to earth
To die.
His hand reaches for yours now
Will you take it?

Losing The Lamb

Walk around with smile pasted
Pretend everything’s all right
As the Lamb slips from your hands
You now walk only by sight
Hold your head up
Push down your fears
But the Lamb is still with you
Weeping your tears
Though He follows faithfully
You make Him stay away
Until you have all the answers
Written in clay
But one day comes when suddenly
You do not see the precious Lamb
For bleeding at your feet below
Lies the Great I Am
Innocence is dying there
He took the blows for you
And as His eyes meet yours again
You know you have the truth
So gather in your arms again
The lost and broken Lamb
Let His blood wash over you
That you may understand.

Upright

I am the one left standing
My faith is like a child
My family has fallen down
Yet I stand on weakened legs
Scattered about on the floor
The pieces of their faith
Cruelly shattered by doubt and fear
Fragments lie around tiny feet
They don’t understand
How I can believe and see
But how can they live in this
And honestly have happiness?
Why I am still standing
Is a mystery to me because
In theory, I should be with them
Broken. Yet this is not so.
In the same environment
Seven lives took start
But they all went down different paths
So here I stand alone -
Giving up is not an option
Falling isn’t forward momentum
I don’t just stand but take a step
Tentatively into the future
I know they’ll come to know the truth.
I am the one left standing
My faith is like a child.

Take Me

Where can I start?
There’s so much to say.
I want God!
I can’t feel Him
But I want to go.
Please, Lord, take me!
Take me to the place
Your glory and mercy fall like rain
Take me up so I can see Your face.
I know there’s more
It’s gotta be true,
‘Cause what I’m living now
Isn’t enough.
I’ve been wrong before
Cast down, thrown away
For some reason, though,
You said I could stay.
I want to live in You forever
Never without Your beautiful light.
Just take all of me out
And put Yourself in.
Life. To. The. Full.
You’re there, and I get it.
This is a test to see if I follow
When I can’t feel.
Well, here’s the long and short:
I’m coming with You.
Wherever we go - that’s cool with me
As long as You’re there, too, leading.
Take me with you.
Please
Take me!

How Beautiful You Are

Everything you’ve been to me
And all that you will be
When you look for strength
You need not look far
He will always tell you
How beautiful you are.
Everything you are to me
All that you can’t see
When faith was lost
And your head bore a scar
He was there to tell you
How beautiful you are.
Everything you stand for
All that you believe
When truth was hidden
Came a shining star
To prove
How beautiful you are.
Everything you live for
Is right before you now
When you feel alone
My daughter, don’t look far
I’m right here to tell you
How beautiful you are.

Remember Me This Way

The light I gave you is not gone
Remember Jesus; stay strong
Today, don’t think of what you lack
Remember that I’m coming back.
You’re not alone, ‘cause I am with you.
Remember me this way:
I am the one who made you smile
When nothing else could do it.
When you felt like giving up,
I told you you could make it.
My faith never left me when times got rough
The love God gave me was enough.
Remember me this way.
Never forget who you were to me:
My best bud
Superman
Photo-Man
My childhood friend
The source of my smile
My everything.
Remember me this way:
The one and only
Best friend forever
Child of God
Your big brother.
Take care of each other,
You’ll go far,
But remember me this way.

All I Had

Break my pride and selfishness
Leave me to my own devices
Keep me here until I crack
Walk away and don’t look back
Catch me before I hit the ground
I am lost and can’t be found
You looked everywhere for me
And I hid myself from Thee
Worn out, I hit my knees and weep
My inner-voice is fast asleep
Lift my head up to the sky
Tune out forever the father of lies
I choose to take Your hand instead
I believe in what You said
Everything I thought I knew
Is nothing now that I have You

My Child

Lift me up and take me away
Into a world of grace today
All I have is just a song ‘cause
All I used to know is gone
I turned my back on You
Thought You didn’t care
I lived my life in such a way
You’d never want me back
So You can’t see
Who I wanna be
Who I should have been
And all I lack
Today I’m starting my life over
I can’t fight it anymore
Uncertain, I step toward the light
I want to believe everything’s all right
Someone told me that You love me
Told me that I could be free
In my head, I can’t believe it
But in my heart, I wanna receive it
I can’t take it anymore
My heart’s in pieces on the floor
I pick it up and try in vain
But I can’t fix it up again
My hands are torn and bleeding
From the fragments on the ground
Kneeling at Your feet to pray
That’s when I finally heard You say
“My child”
Lift me up and take me away
I’m in a world of grace today
Nothing to lose (except my life)
Everything to gain!
I knew it when I heard you say
“My child”