Falling Away

I made a decision
To give my life
And live in holiness.
Yet today,
It seems like everything
Is gone.
Today, I doubt
And live for the world,
Pretending I can’t see
The people.
Inside, hearts are
All the same,
But I judge them
Because of their faces.
I am weak and worthless.
Here on earth I’ll stay,
And though I want God
To come back to me
My mind tells me otherwise.
For the millionth time
I’m falling away,
I took my focus from the King.
So once again I’ll stand
And begin
Climbing the Rock.

My Psalm

God, grant me hunger
And a fire inside.
Give me a passion
I am not ashamed to hide.
I need humility
And total reliance.
God, help me recognize
All of my weakness.
Help me stand up
When others have fallen.
Grant me boldness
To pursue my calling.
God, I want a soft heart.
I want to be real.
Please let me see
Your plan revealed.

Salvamar

Holding onto the memories
Trapped behind happiness everyone sees
My tears form an ocean
They scream my devotion.
Laid out, I wait for my Savior
To come and condemn my behavior
With harsh words and anger
That keep me from danger.
But He came instead with these words,
I reached for His hand and I heard:
“My child, I love you
Please let me save you
From your ocean of tears
Come, I’ll calm your fears.”
Salvamar, save me from the deep
Salvamar, curse the fear I still keep
Help me jump in with both feet!
You dried the ocean; you made me whole
You guard my life and save my soul!

Losing Shane

No more sunshine
In our lives
Now endless tears
Fall from our eyes.
If he’d come back
Just for a while
Maybe today
You’d see a smile.
But he remains
Where he will stay
Until we meet him
There someday.
If I could give
My life for his
So here on earth
He’d be -
I’d surrender
In a second
All that I’d
Hoped to see.
I’d lay it down
And breathe my last
If he’d return
To earth.
And all of heaven
Would rejoice
In this glorious
Rebirth.

The Shell

For me, I want to keep
The life I had before,
Without regard for
What could be.
But what kind of life is that?
Hidden in darkness,
Indulging in sinful past-times
That only lead to pain.
My inner-resolve crumbles—
My old life crashes around me,
Leaving only a shell
Bathed in shadows.
You want more than that for me,
Yet through it all I remain
Undecided.
What does the future hold?
The life I had knows nothing of it
Only You.
As my thoughts tumble
In a rainbow-colored cyclone,
You reach out.
Your mighty hand
Breaks the shell that held me captive.
Shaking debris from my hair,
I rise.
My old desires remain
In the shell
On the ground.

Blind

Crushed, I grope in darkness
Reaching for the light.
Tears flow like rivers
Down my face.
Attempts to pick myself up
From the floor are useless.
I am only saved by grace.
Everything is dark and hazy
And I try to pray, without success.
Only a miracle would get me out
Of this mess I made…
Just grace.

Soaring

Heart coasting
On adrenaline,
Raise your hands
And shut your eyes.
Turn your gaze
To what’s above.
Hold on now,
Believe.
Your desires
Are His.
Flying with faith—
He won’t let you fall.
On the other side
You’re standing,
So raise your hands
And shut your eyes.

Everything That Stood

Falling, like a child
With no one’s hand
To break the impact
Of a broken body,
Wounded soul
Meeting solid ground.
Grasping in vain at darkness
Crying out for someone to come
And put back together
Everything that stood.
Through the silence
I hear a Voice,
Barely audible
In the deafening solitude
I have created.
Without warning
You take my hands
And help me stand again
Drying my eyes,
Healing my soul.
Today, I stand
On the Rock.

Down To Earth

I looked down to earth
And saw you standing there
Calling My name,
Your hands raised in praise.
I looked down to earth
And saw you lying there,
Face down on the floor
As you cried out for more.
I looked down to earth
And saw you jumping there,
Clapping and singing,
Your voice was ringing.
I looked down to earth
And saw you crying there
As you reached for My hand
So that you could stand.
Today, I looked to My right
And saw you smiling there,
Our hearts beat as one
When I call you My son.

Sacrificial

Lying in a manger
Born to be our Savior.
Hanging on a cross,
Looking to the sky
He said, “Forgive them, Father.”
Nails driven by hatred
Into human hands and feet
That once kicked and reached
To grasp her finger.
Humanity weeps
As Jesus breathes
His last.
Three days of mourning
Then He’s alive again
After dying for our sins.
Fall before Him on your knees
Tell Him honestly.
Give everything you have
To the little baby
Who was sent to earth
To die.
His hand reaches for yours now
Will you take it?

Losing The Lamb

Walk around with smile pasted
Pretend everything’s all right
As the Lamb slips from your hands
You now walk only by sight
Hold your head up
Push down your fears
But the Lamb is still with you
Weeping your tears
Though He follows faithfully
You make Him stay away
Until you have all the answers
Written in clay
But one day comes when suddenly
You do not see the precious Lamb
For bleeding at your feet below
Lies the Great I Am
Innocence is dying there
He took the blows for you
And as His eyes meet yours again
You know you have the truth
So gather in your arms again
The lost and broken Lamb
Let His blood wash over you
That you may understand.

Upright

I am the one left standing
My faith is like a child
My family has fallen down
Yet I stand on weakened legs
Scattered about on the floor
The pieces of their faith
Cruelly shattered by doubt and fear
Fragments lie around tiny feet
They don’t understand
How I can believe and see
But how can they live in this
And honestly have happiness?
Why I am still standing
Is a mystery to me because
In theory, I should be with them
Broken. Yet this is not so.
In the same environment
Seven lives took start
But they all went down different paths
So here I stand alone -
Giving up is not an option
Falling isn’t forward momentum
I don’t just stand but take a step
Tentatively into the future
I know they’ll come to know the truth.
I am the one left standing
My faith is like a child.

Take Me

Where can I start?
There’s so much to say.
I want God!
I can’t feel Him
But I want to go.
Please, Lord, take me!
Take me to the place
Your glory and mercy fall like rain
Take me up so I can see Your face.
I know there’s more
It’s gotta be true,
‘Cause what I’m living now
Isn’t enough.
I’ve been wrong before
Cast down, thrown away
For some reason, though,
You said I could stay.
I want to live in You forever
Never without Your beautiful light.
Just take all of me out
And put Yourself in.
Life. To. The. Full.
You’re there, and I get it.
This is a test to see if I follow
When I can’t feel.
Well, here’s the long and short:
I’m coming with You.
Wherever we go - that’s cool with me
As long as You’re there, too, leading.
Take me with you.
Please
Take me!

How Beautiful You Are

Everything you’ve been to me
And all that you will be
When you look for strength
You need not look far
He will always tell you
How beautiful you are.
Everything you are to me
All that you can’t see
When faith was lost
And your head bore a scar
He was there to tell you
How beautiful you are.
Everything you stand for
All that you believe
When truth was hidden
Came a shining star
To prove
How beautiful you are.
Everything you live for
Is right before you now
When you feel alone
My daughter, don’t look far
I’m right here to tell you
How beautiful you are.

Remember Me This Way

The light I gave you is not gone
Remember Jesus; stay strong
Today, don’t think of what you lack
Remember that I’m coming back.
You’re not alone, ‘cause I am with you.
Remember me this way:
I am the one who made you smile
When nothing else could do it.
When you felt like giving up,
I told you you could make it.
My faith never left me when times got rough
The love God gave me was enough.
Remember me this way.
Never forget who you were to me:
My best bud
Superman
Photo-Man
My childhood friend
The source of my smile
My everything.
Remember me this way:
The one and only
Best friend forever
Child of God
Your big brother.
Take care of each other,
You’ll go far,
But remember me this way.

All I Had

Break my pride and selfishness
Leave me to my own devices
Keep me here until I crack
Walk away and don’t look back
Catch me before I hit the ground
I am lost and can’t be found
You looked everywhere for me
And I hid myself from Thee
Worn out, I hit my knees and weep
My inner-voice is fast asleep
Lift my head up to the sky
Tune out forever the father of lies
I choose to take Your hand instead
I believe in what You said
Everything I thought I knew
Is nothing now that I have You

My Child

Lift me up and take me away
Into a world of grace today
All I have is just a song ‘cause
All I used to know is gone
I turned my back on You
Thought You didn’t care
I lived my life in such a way
You’d never want me back
So You can’t see
Who I wanna be
Who I should have been
And all I lack
Today I’m starting my life over
I can’t fight it anymore
Uncertain, I step toward the light
I want to believe everything’s all right
Someone told me that You love me
Told me that I could be free
In my head, I can’t believe it
But in my heart, I wanna receive it
I can’t take it anymore
My heart’s in pieces on the floor
I pick it up and try in vain
But I can’t fix it up again
My hands are torn and bleeding
From the fragments on the ground
Kneeling at Your feet to pray
That’s when I finally heard You say
“My child”
Lift me up and take me away
I’m in a world of grace today
Nothing to lose (except my life)
Everything to gain!
I knew it when I heard you say
“My child”

When Children Fall

Someone’s child
Has gone away
Forever departed
From this day
What do we tell them
The mother and father
Sisters and brothers
Who loved him so
How can we tell them
The friends he grew up with
That he’s no longer here
Because he had to go
Where is the faith
He carried so gently
Guarded within that
Beautiful soul
Where is the love
He had to offer
Making the brokenness
Once again whole
What is fair now
Where is the justice
When children suffer
Crippling blows
And when our Savior
Is nailed to a cross
For our sinful nature
That constantly grows
But the child could see
Through hurting eyes
That it must be this way
And knelt to weep
No comfort for the families
Nothing brings them peace
For their loved one is gone
Their grief is too deep
One day the child
He opened the book
And read of his Savior
As tears welled in his eyes
And today the family
Of the fallen child knows
When they bury a little one
Their Savior cries

What She Would Say

I know I’m far from you now
And you may not hear me
But I want you to know
That even though I’m free
You are never far
From my heart
And my mind
A more beautiful son
I could never find
I’ve watched you grow up
Day after day
I saw you hurt
And kneel to pray
Then once more
Death came to life
Taking a loved one
Leaving strife
I was there
My arms holding you
All around
Love enfolding you
My precious son
My little one
I know you have hope
And are willing to try
The monster’s gone
So please don’t cry

Transition

So hard to explain
Why we return
To the ways of the world
Away from what’s learned.
Our hearts grow cold
We say it doesn’t matter
Indulging ourselves
As the glass walls shatter.
We make it okay
Because God forgives
Never acknowledging
Where sin really lives.
We’re hugging the corpse
And can’t let it go
We say we love Him
But when will it show?
We’ve got to repent
Let God have control
On our knees begging,
“Bring peace to our soul!”
The knowledge that lives
In our hearts is what counts
Not the stuff in our heads
That we always renounce.
So, God, bring a change
Let the transition happen
From the head to the heart
So that we may take action,
Serving You without shame
And helping souls heal
You live within us
And You are what’s real.

A Question Or The Answer?

The idea seems
Ridiculous.
Reaching out
For something,
Believing
In order to see.
That’s what faith is,
You’ve just gotta trust.
He loves you.
I don’t know
All the answers
Right now,
But I’ll find them for you
If it’ll take you closer.
Curiosity of heaven,
Nothing sounds
More beautiful.
Keep going,
Reach out,
Be reckless
In your belief.
Love is patient,
God will wait
For as long
As it takes.
Just believe
And you are saved,
Nothing else is required.
Falling
From eagle’s wings
To the world below—
But you’re caught
Before you hit
Solid ground.
He will carry you.

Release The Rain

On the edge
Hovering
How do I explain
What I’m feeling
At this very moment
And not release the rain?
It’s inside
Lurking there
Yearning to come down.
Leaking out
And when it does
Silent echoes will resound.
You’re here somewhere
I know You are
I just can’t seem to find
Where You’re at
Without losing my way
Or being left behind.
So many things are dealt with
Emotions I’m afraid to feel
When I’m scared that’s when Satan comes
To tell me You aren’t real.
But You, my God
You aren’t afraid
To let Your feelings show
In a beautiful spring day You made
Or in the winter snow.
Your tears don’t hinder
They encourage us to act
And not continue in this life
Forever sliding off-track.
So I’ll let ‘em fall
If it’ll take me deeper
They can slide
If it’ll make me stronger.
Drop to my knees and pray:
Release the rain.

And Protect Me

At the front lines
A sword in my hand
Right in the midst
Of the enemy’s land.
Stepping forward
My eyes straight ahead
I know where God wants me
I heard what He said.
The weapon is poised
Don’t know what’s in store
But I’m ready to fight
In this spiritual war.
This is the moment.
I turn to be sure
My army’s behind me
Just as they were.
But what do I see?
I should have known.
I don’t have an army now
I am alone.
With ten thousand men
Showing dismay
I drop to my knees in the dirt
And pray:
“Do something . . .
Take out your sword and protect me
I’m living to see His smile
Throughout all of eternity.”

Through The Fire

It consumes me
A driving desire
To serve You, O God
And walk through the fire.
Put to death
What is not of You
Lord, raise me up
For I will walk through.
Complacency
Has no place anymore
God, cast it out
As I go through the door.
The pain is intense
My head bows in shame
As flesh is stripped by
What was just a flame.
I want all You have
The hunger is deep
But we’re so far removed
We should kneel and weep.
I love You so much
I want to climb higher
So in order to burn
I will walk through the fire.
Let’s throw of it all
You get what you give
‘Cause it’s impossible
To see You and live.
With eyes heavenward
Don’t abandon the chase
For when the smoke clears
You will see His face.

Decade and a Half

Behold the child I have here
That everyone saw and heard
How he braved the world
And spoke My name
Though he would not be cured.
I shower him with love now
And keep him close to Me
For Me, he gave up everything,
And I have set him free.
The world’s not fair,
I must admit.
He was dealt quite a blow.
But through the suffering
He endured,
He taught the ones
Who need to know
Of My desire to Father them
And how far My love reaches.
Through My guidance
He has learned
The wisdom that he teaches.
My plan and purpose
For him now
Are too big for you
To comprehend.
But I am taking care of
Your brother, son and friend.
He once was here
And now returned
To live, to love, and laugh
Because he fulfilled his mission
In a decade and a half.

Not Anymore

Everything means something else
Nothing is the same
Now that you’re gone.
Today, voices are precious
And support means the world.
Green is no longer just
The color of the grass,
But today it means shamrocks,
Hope, love and happiness.
5:38 no longer simply
Approaches 6 PM,
But it’s the time one life ceased
And another began.
God is no longer
Big and distant.
He’s in my heart because
You left Him in me.
A song’s not just a song anymore,
‘Cause now some
Spoken words make
Tears spring to my eyes.
Friends don’t walk in and out
Of life anymore without
Leaving a beautiful testimony.
Shane’s not just a name anymore…

While Angels Wait

Two brothers
A single soul
He has peace
You fight for control.
Now you’re apart
Forever, it seems
At night one plays
In the other’s dreams.
You saw him
Before he got wings
And now from heaven
Your angel sings
Over you, a joyful song
So the time you wait
Won’t feel as long.
And so for now
On earth you’ll stay
Until God comes
To carry you away.
The first you’ll see
Will be his face.
The first you’ll feel
Is his embrace.
Today, please know
That while you stand
And wait for God
To take your hand
You have friends around
Who care, it’s true,
And the best kind of angel
Watching over you.

How?

How do I express
The void left in my heart
The day God came
To take you home?
How can I put into words
The pain I feel
And try to hide?
How is it possible to let them see
How bad I hurt
And the emptiness that fills me?
How can I accept
That I will never
Get another letter,
Or another kind word
From you?
With God’s help
I will get better.
With His presence
I will feel joy.
His love will overflow in me,
The sadness will be no more.
I know you aren’t completely gone
Because you are with Him.
I also pray I will see you
Someday, in heaven,
My friend.

In His Own Words

"Even as I write this, I can feel
My fingers shaking.
Death makes me feel lonely…
It fills me with sadness
Just thinking of
What is to come.
Why do I have to die?
Sometimes I get angry at God
For making this happen to me,
And I’ll almost start to cry
Because all I can think about is
How much I don’t want to die
And how much I wish
I was healthy.
How do those who actually die
Get chosen?
I’d rather battle life than have to die.
Mostly, I get scared.
My body is slowly deteriorating.
I have trusted in the Lord
And I am made to die.
Fearing death is worse than
Crashing into a pickup truck.
I can’t bear this…
It brings too much pain
Too much heartache
It hurts.
I will not allow myself to die.
I can’t. I won’t.
I can’t leave…but I know I will.
I know you’re gonna miss me
And it’s gonna hurt for a long time
But remember I am with God
In a wonderful place
Where I can feel no harm or sin.
Life is beautiful.
Never give up on it.
Goodbye…
I love you."

*Compiled by me, from E-mails from Shane.

Nothing Hurts

At heaven’s gate
She stands,
Waiting for her Father.
Today, she’s perfect.
Nothing hurts.
After talking a while
With her Lord
They decide what she
Will do.
Smiling broadly
She says, “Okay,
As long as I don’t have to cook.”
God laughed.
His daughter had such wit and humor.
Adapting quickly,
She loves her position,
Meeting new arrivals
Who come in.
She assists the elderly
Up to the sky.
Getting down softly,
She greets the children,
Comforting those
Who are sad.
The ones who are
Too weak to walk
She carries
To her Father’s throne
Where He gives them
Wings to fly.
Looking down
Around a cloud,
She notices
Someone coming.
Putting on her best smile,
She reaches out
For the hand she knows
Will be there.
Her distinctive grin
Softened as she looked
Into a tired young face,
Much like her own
Had been.
“Hi,” she said softly.
“I’m the angel of joy.”
The face of the child
Was drained of color.
Breathing was an effort
In itself.
Standing at the gate
She caught him
As his leg gave.
She saw his eyes were full of tears.
“It’s okay…I know.”
Lifting him gently,
She brought him to
God’s throne
Where he was given wings to fly.
Today, he’s perfect.
Nothing hurts.

The Power Of God's Love

Every day, I am amazed
I think, “How can this be?”
That God showed you the love He had
And you gave that to me.
A simple thing,
I know you think
It isn’t very much.
And now I finally understand
That you don’t have a magic touch.
But what you do have
Is much greater than any worldly thing.
You have love, which comes from God,
Our Father, Lord, and King.
I was on my way to God-knows-where
When you reached out a hand
To lend support and comfort
And to help me understand.
In your obedience
And your choice,
I heard God speaking
Through your voice.
There is one verse I remember,
“I am weak, then I am strong.”
You quoted that and I realized
To Him I do belong.
Discovering God’s love again
I could finally see
God had a plan for my life on earth,
And that knowledge set me free.
So if there’s one thing I want to do
Before God takes me home,
It’s to do for someone what you did for me
With the kindness and love I’ve been shown.
I thank God that He sent down
An angel to turn my life around.
I’m more grateful for what you’ve done,
Because I understand the race you run.
But if we are determined and persevere,
We have no reason at all to fear.
He is guiding your steps,
Making your path
I believe we’ll be friends for now
And many years after.
You are a precious gift from God
He sent to do His best.
For the work He’s done through you,
I’ll be forever blessed.

Hearing Voices

I hear a voice
Can’t help but wonder
Did you sound like that?
Even though I
Have peace and hope
Knowing where you’re at.
For Jesus is
The King of Kings,
He loved you so much.
Now it is He
Who cares for you
And feels your true touch.
Cloudy skies when
The rain so soft falls
Lightly to the earth.
Sometimes I look up
And wonder how much
This is really worth.
To sit down here
And weep for you, ten
Thousand tears, I’m sure,
When all the while
What I want is to be
With you one day more.
Deep inside, I
Scream and shout because
I want this to end.
A life is lost
An angel made
Of my cherished friend.
But when my grief
Comes blinding me in
Unrelenting waves,
I remember
How my sweet Jesus
Mercifully saves.
I’m thinking now,
And I know that
Jesus felt such joy
Enveloping
Gently in His arms,
You, His little boy.

When I Turned Away

When I turned away from You
I could not understand
How You would still be here for me
Continuing to hold my hand.
Recently, I realized
It was Your glory I stole
When I chose to live for me
And have all the control.
When I turned away from You
I cherished material things
Never knowing, all the while
I was in the shadow of Your wings.
A few months back I was content
To live a life of sin
It didn’t make sense that I had to lose
My life to You so I could win.
When I turned away from You
I shut out the light
Because I felt strong enough
To stand alone and fight.
And then one day my eyes were opened
Truth finally showed through
The way I could have life and strength
Was by falling on my face before You.
So when someone turns away from You
Due to earthly desires and human fears
I pray they will come back to You, their Father,
Whose eyes are full of tears.

Burden

I asked for a burden
You gave me a child
To befriend and love
My world was crushed
When he was taken
A fallen angel from above.
But I asked, Lord,
“Ask and you shall receive.”
I asked for a burden
Now I can’t make it leave.
My eyes were opened
My heart was changed
As his young spirit fought
The battle within him raged.
Circumstances are altered
I think differently
If not for the blood of Jesus
I would not be set free.
I want to give up
And take the fall
But You’re there to pick me up
So I can stand tall.
And I asked for a burden
So it’s only right
To carry it quietly
Into the night.

Journey To Jesus

Walking in the house each day
You were the oldest one.
It was you who cared
When your brother was scared
Of the dark, and longed for the sun.
Walking in a friend’s front door,
You took in his terrible pain.
Instead of turning around,
Words of kindness you found
Sheltering him from the rain.
Getting in a car one night,
You caught a ride for home.
He made a choice,
But you heard a voice:
“You will not face this alone.”
Walking down the crowded street,
Your heart longs for the prize -
But how it breaks
When you observe
The absence of light in people’s eyes.
Walking down the halls in school,
You were only one boy.
But how the heads turned
When your passion burned
As you sang to God with joy.
Then, one day, it happened.
You dropped onto the floor.
But God’s mighty grace
Shown upon your face
As He breathed life into you once more.
And now the end is coming,
It’s your time to stand tall.
Even though you fear it
And you don’t want to hear it,
You can’t ignore God’s call.
A hand is extended before you
Beckoning, soft and warm.
In this unfamiliar place
You recognize one face,
And run into Jesus’ open arms.

Broken

I am so unworthy, God
Why did You chose me
To be an earthly child of Yours?
How can this be?
I am so dirty, Father
So sinful, so unclean
Please break this off and wash me
So I’m the child You’ve seen.
Oh how I want to bring You joy
I long to be Your tool,
But so far, I must admit
I’ve acted like a fool.
Not praising You or thanking You
When I wake up each day,
You have given me so much
You are the light You are the way.
Lord, You gave Your only Son
He took away my sin
God, when will I realize
I must lose so I can win?
And be with You
At Your right hand
Someday in heaven,
I will stand.

Believer

I believe with all my heart
That this was meant to be.
God prepared my heart with a dream
Before bringing you to me.
Too many similarities to be
Simply coincidental,
Because the name of the boy
In my dream was Daniel.
Could’ve been anything
But it was your middle name.
Let’s not overlook
The white tee and blue jeans,
The flaxen hair and sad eyes,
Or the fervent prayer we said
As death was closing in.
The year 1984
And the verse Psalms 6.
All this four days before
I met you,
Shane.
A child in the eyes of the Lord
But an angel in mine.
Thank You, Jesus,
For letting me touch him
And pray with him, even before
I knew who You
Were bringing into my life.
Some days I think
It was by mistake
That such a great person
Was put on earth at all.
Maybe You just wanted
Him to reach out to people
And change their hearts
Before he was taken up
Again.
This time
For an eternity.
Shane Daniel,
Fallen angel,
I hear you calling,
“I’m right here,
Skateboarding in the clouds.
Hey, I’m okay,
So stop your weeping.
My Father is here
Taking care of me.”

Forever Fifteen

Always a child
Trapped in an age
Can’t grow up, ‘cause
You’re stuck on a page
In the book of life.

Never

"When will God take the world apart?"
Will He lose faith in me?
Will He stop loving me?
Does He not hear me when I pray?
When I pray my soul to keep,
Has He forgotten about mine?
Sinners are destined for a place
I can’t say. Does God want me at
The head of that line?
For the answers to all these questions
There is only one word that we need -
That is the first word on this page -
The one that caught my eyes:
Never.
There’s one more thing I have to ask.
Why? After all the bad things I do?
I smile as I hear the whispered reply.
God says, “It’s very simple, my child,
Because I love you.”

Jesus On The Counter

Jesus, there You are before us.
You see and You know all.
But how do we react?
Some ignore You; some wanna hate You.
The unreached and full of rage
Walk before You.
You go unacknowledged.
I cannot imagine the tears You’ve cried
For children so far from You.
But You have lit a flame in my heart
That refuses to perish.
I want to know You.
Your dwelling place is beautiful
And I long for it.
I promise You now -
I will take you down from the counter
And help Your presence enter those
Who need to want You more
Than life itself.

Secrets Of Heaven

You’re in a place I cannot go
Until God calls me to.
You have secrets, that I know,
For I believe in you.
Like the child that you are
You want to let it out.
The grin that lights your face
Tells what you’re about.
I know you want to tell me
But you showed God you could
Keep the knowledge you have silent
As you promised Him you would.
And you whisper to me like the wind
Softly, and you don’t say much.
Then you just retreat,
Too far away to touch.
I don’t know the secrets of heaven
And that makes our Father proud.
So, I’ll just wait ‘til we’re together
To hear you speak them aloud.

Blessing

In meeting you
I was richly blessed.
I knew you were separate
From the rest.
I miss your words
Because God has your spirit.
I yearn for your voice
Because I never got to hear it.
You longed for ‘something that reflects
Who you are, and has profound meaning,’
To help your friends and family
Through the process of grieving.
‘I will not allow myself to die,’ you said.
A few months ago, your words I read.
Your compassionate heart and loving soul
Were truly beautiful to behold.
Knowing you has been a pleasure,
For you saw the glory, you felt the treasure.
When I was feeling low
I could always count on you
To make the smile hidden
On my inside show through.
The world was blessed
For fifteen years,
And your passing has led us
To shed many tears.
But on those days
When I want to fall apart,
I remember what you said,
‘Keep me in your heart.’

Child Of Yours

My soul feels lonely
But full of Your love.
My spirit is trapped,
While his flies like a dove.
Jesus, do You have him?
Father, I ask You now,
Even though I don’t know how,
How do I let go of this child of Yours?
He saw the glory
And You used him
To share Your story.
It hurts tremendously
To be left behind,
And that was always on the mind
Of this child of Yours.

Promised Release

He was having a good time
Enjoying himself
When suddenly his hopes and dreams
Were put high up on a shelf.
At the hospital, the doctors say
“This boy needs blood, or he will not stay.”
“God, why have you let this happen?”
His parents ask a month later,
When their faith is shaken, and spirits are dampened
The doctor tells them:
“This is a fluke, and it should not be
But the blood given to your son
Was positive for HIV.”
From that moment on,
The boy was changed.
Now instead of skateboarding and
School and girls
He thought about death
And how his life was rearranged.
Under such a heavy burden
Most would crumble.
And there were times when
In his faith he did stumble.
Asking God, “Why, after I have served
You my whole life? This is not what I deserved!”
“My child,” God replied
“You pray each night your soul I’ll keep;
And you must know, when you suffer I weep.
I will never forsake you, or give you more
Than you can handle, in your journey to heaven’s door.”
Slowly, his relationship grew with the Lord
As the boy thought of the hand he was dealt.
And he often wondered if anyone else his age
Knew the first thing about how he felt.
The trials he faces with each passing day
Are far greater than anyone could say.
But knowing this child has taught me a lesson in
How to live my life.
He has been made stronger
In the midst of tremendous strife.
His courage is amazing,
And God will surely be pleased
When he calls this boy
To the gates of his kingdom
And promised release.